I woke up early one morning and sat outside the balcony, curled up in a blanket. All of nature’s elements were in place – the waves were crashing, the wind was blowing, the leaves were rustling and the sun was slowly making its way up in the sky. Everything behaving the way as they ought to; the natural order of things.
Shivering, I asked God in my noisy head, so what is this “natural me” I see so little of? There are so many distractions and choices and expectations and conventions and benchmarks and hurts and superficialities and regrets in my life that I no longer know who I am anymore. I began resenting all the times I’ve been told to hold back, behave differently, “give face”, “let things be” in the name of “maintaining the status quo” (the stupidest term ever invented – life never, ever stays the same).
“Why is the human race so full of bullshit? Why can’t people just be?” I ranted internally to Him.
“Why can’t you just be?” came the wise reply.
And then, I fell asleep.