mental indigestion

Double take December 28, 2008

Filed under: Life in general — mel @ 10:27 am
Balancing imbalance

Balancing imbalance

The year has taught hard lessons, and I really hope they sink into this thick head of mine for the year ahead.

– Overbusyness is the most vicious thief – it takes away sense of reasoning, conscience, optimism, consideration for other people, sanity, security and spirituality. This year, there have been times where I have been rude, disrespectful, manipulative and pure selfish because I have been too wrapped up with the never ending to-do list and self-pity for being in such situations. I will seek to make amends to the people I have hurt or ignored.

– More and more I realise, a positive attitude makes the difference whatsoever the circumstances. In ‘positive attitude’, I do not mean “not-facing-reality-denial-of-dark-side-i-feel-better-because-i-am-having-it-better-than-other-people” peppyness but the realisation that life is not always within our control, the genuine acceptance  of oneself and other people (the gross and the good), and the recognition and initiative to make a difference during the rare opportunities we can make a difference in how life events unfold.

– I’ve also realised, at least in my case, that the only way to come anywhere close to adopting this sort of attitude is to draw closer to God. However, increasingly, I seem to have far too many ideological clashes with the “conventions” of the Singaporean brand of Christianity to feel like I’ve truly been in God’s house and with God’s people in church these past few years. (I really really miss my church in Melbourne sorely – one trademark moment: how Leslie would give food to the homeless without a hint of condescension and smugness.) Please pray for me as I work around this.

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