And I really shouldn’t be that way since my life is in no way hectic by urban standards. But that’s how it is – depleted is the only way I can describe it.
Perhaps it is the realisation that fitting into the system requires too much brain-numbing and fitting a square into a round hole.
Perhaps it is the labels that I try to remove from myself and other people – and yet it unwittingly becomes the main basis of judgement (why am I judging in the first place?).
Perhaps it is the few young people that I try to help in whatever little way I can – but realise how hopeless it is because the circumstances are so overwhelming.
Perhaps because the unresolved skeletons have come out of the wardrobe for some airing, and probably will be prancing around quite a bit for the next few months.
Perhaps it is because I have been neglecting the spiritual side of things for a while – and while legalism and seemingly self-righteous cliques are really disturbing to me, I also realise now how these institutions and sub-groups give guidelines and comfort that no brilliant logical insight or hard hitting social commentary can ever provide. (these just make you go “Aha! So the world is as screwed up as I thought it was!” but does not solve anything) If only I can find the right balance between the two.
Perhaps I am just spending too much time on Facebook – MUST restrain. You know things have gotten a little out of hand when someone approaches you during a wedding reception and declares with a straight face, “Your Fluff Friend beat my Horny Beast in a race and now I have lost all my munny.”