A sigh or two July 29, 2007

There have been many changes and demands I can’t quite seem to cope with of late.

But as I decided to myself last night, there will be better days ahead.

What I’ve been most bek-chek about: When people say things I ought to stand up to and absolutely refute, I only realise hours later. When people say things that I ought to not give a toot about, I get instantaneously agitated and can’t function for the next few hours.

And this week has been all about wrong responses.

Maybe I should just be like lil’ Zack and sleep it off in this noisy, noisy world.

Hot Dog July 26, 2007

I will miss you, Kimmy. Your new family seems to love you very much and I think the mummy there will get to spend a lot more time with you. May your life be filled with apricots and bouncy balls.

The First Sort-of Makeover July 22, 2007

If you are wondering why I look a little strange here, this is because I decided to do a trial session with a make-up artist upon being advised that this is one area to tread with caution re: wedding preps.

Once again, I am reminded how much I deviate from the normal range of femininity with his ISO-like questions during that two hour session:

“I see you the type don’t wear much make-up, hor?”

“How come your room don’t have dressing table, ah?”

“How can you dunno how to put on mascara?”

However, catty questions aside, I think he wasn’t too bad (i.e. did not give goth look) and I quite enjoy his bitchily funny monologues. One down, many more things more to go.

The Race to Look Good July 13, 2007

While the others were doing push-ups and assorted warm-ups which involved grunting, we were more interested in taking pretty pictures of ourselves. Not surprisingly, we were the FIRST…in  the Best Dressed category.

Bubbles would dig this July 6, 2007

The highlight of the week has to be cutie yummylicious Spanish Lemon flavoured cupcakes from Perfect Fairy Cakes made by A’s mummy Karen. Moist and light and just right -  in my favourite shade of baby blue, no less.

Is there such a thing as friends 4 eva? July 3, 2007

Up till today, I still don’t really know what it means to be a true friend.

I do know I want to be better one. But there are limitations, baggage, personality differences and selfishness.

The other day, a former colleague N called me out of the blue - I didn’t know her well but we always giggled a lot together during those pseudo-teambonding stuff. Laughing buddies we were, so I was surprised to hear how down she was. Turns out she actually had a minor stroke a few months ago and her health has been topsy-turvy ever since. I really felt like crying as she told me her struggles…but after a few more encouraging smses and promises to visit her at the store once she’s up and about, that’s it. That’s all I could offer.

I met a group of friends whom I felt did wrong but I know they feel they did no wrong. And so I made the rational and diplomatic decision to forgive and try to forget. It is hard. Sure, chit-chatting and reminiscing on nostalgic memories are fine. But the trust has vanished. I don’t think that would ever come back.
All of a sudden, G’s dad passed away. This is a guy who has been for me through all the down in the dumps periods of my life. Last night, he looked so helpless and forlorn…and I could do nothing (again).

I was just having a conversation with D the other day…about how some people may mistake me as “dao” when I’m being blur. But as I thought about it a bit more…I realise that yes, there are times I choose to be unfriendly and closed up, whether it is because I’m protective, shy, judgemental or just plain temperamental.

I also realise that in order for me to truly open up to people, I need to take the time to open up to myself. and having a certain level of self-awareness, which tends to disappear whenever I’m too busy or stressed. If not, it is just a farce, the “acting nice and safe” routine just to go under the radar.

But there are moments, like now, when I really long to hold the hands of the people I know that are hurting.

The History Boys July 3, 2007

“The best moments in reading are when you come across something - a thought, a feeling, a way of looking at things - which you had thought special and particular to you. And now, here it is, set down by someone else, a person you have never met, someone even who is long dead. And it is as if a hand has come out, and taken yours.” - The History Boys

Great movie. Cute boys. Clever humour which actually got me to use the rusty brain a bit.