Bah (not NZ sheep related) November 29, 2006

Why are there always a million things to do before you go on a holiday? Such that when you finally get to that dream destination, you’re high strung, pooped and nitpicky and worrying about a billion things you left back home. And when the winding down finally takes place, it’s time for you to go home and face the billion things to do.

But as Korean ski instructor Yoda-instructed me as I freaked out on the slopes of Yongpyong in 2003, “Mehranee, must Change Mind and Make Party”. But pray thee, my wise Bae Yong Jun look-alike, tell me how can one do this in real life?

Serendipity is… November 24, 2006

…plopping down at a cafe and finding this next to you.

D. is the new Melman. Superhero action figure coming out soon, stay tuned.

General Hospital November 23, 2006

In the last few days, I have been to the hosital 4 times. Two friends have popped some lovely babies that look like delicious bread loaves,  met a lovely (possibly gay) male nurse who told my mum not be so nervous otherwise “your veins will get very shy and not want to come out and play” and saw Soph since Sri Lanka trip at the ICU, which is a most depressing place, but makes you really think about stuff. And for some strange reason, while walking past the transparent rooms, I just felt that these patients were getting some much-needed rest, their faces looked so tired, what a lot they must have been through.

It’s strange how you get to see the whole range of human emotions at hospitals. I also reckon - Tan Tock Seng beats SGH hands down.

Meme #1 November 21, 2006

Tagged by Joan ages ago, I guess I should try these blogging meme thingys once in a while.

1) Are your parents married or divorced? Somewhere in between.
2) Are you a vegetarian? I tried with Lent but starting having dreams of meat dripping with blood.
3) Do you believe in Heaven? Yes.
4) Have you ever come close to dying? In a serious car accident when I was 9. I walked out with a fractured collarbone.
5) What jewelery do you wear 24/7? Nada.
6) Favourite time of day? Dawn.
7) Do you eat the stems of broccoli? Yup.
Do you wear makeup? Minimal.
9) Ever have plastic surgery? Nope.
10) Do you color your hair? Yes, but irregularly.
11) What do you wear to bed? Shorts and tee.
12) Have you ever done anything illegal? Hmmm.
13) Can you roll your tongue? Yarp.
14) Do you tweeze your eyebrows? I NEED to.
15) What kind of sneakers? New Balance.
16) Do you believe in Abortions? No.
17) What is your Hair color? Dark brown.
18) Future child’s name? Hannah for girl, hmmm I’ve only thought about a girl.
19) Do you snore? Only when I have the flu.
20) If you could go anywhere in the world where would it be? South America.
21) Do you sleep with stuffed animals? Nope.
22) If you won the lottery, what would you do first? Repay loans.
23) Gold or silver? Silver.
24) Hamburger or hot dog? Hamburger, In & Out specifically
25) If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be? Honey Mustard Kettle Chips
26) City, beach or country? Suburb - space of a country but amenities of a city.
27) What was the last thing you touched? My Macky Wacky.
28) Where did you eat last? At home.
29) When’s the last time you cried? Yesterday.
30) Do you read blogs? Addictively so!
31) Would you ever go out dressed like the opposite sex? No.
32) Ever been involved with the police? No.
33) What’s your favourite shampoo conditioner and soap? Kerstase stuff for shampoo and conditioner, Bath & Body Works for their yummy smelling liquid soaps.
34) Do you talk in your sleep? Yes.
35) Ocean or pool? Pool.
38) Window seat or aisle? Aisle, because I want easy access to the toilet.
39) Ever met anyone famous? Yes - David Copperfield, Gloria Estefan, John Updike and Douglas Coupland
40) Do you feel that you’ve had a truly successful life? No, but I think that if you’ve never had failures, you’ve never really lived.
41) Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it? Urm,bite?

42) Ricki Lake or Oprah Winfrey? I don’t like talk shows.
43) Basketball or Football? Basketball.
44) How long do your showers last? About 15 minutes.
45) Automatic or do you drive a stick? Auto…but still badly
46) Cake or ice cream? Ice cream without a doubt.
47) Are you self-conscious? Yes.
48) Have you ever drank so much you threw up? Nope, but I did get verbal diarrhoea.
49) Have you ever given money to a beggar? Yes.
50) Have you been in love? Yes.
51) Where do you wish you were? My bed.
52) Are you wearing socks? Nope.
53) Have you ever ridden in an ambulance? Nope.
54) Can you tango? Nope.
55) Last gift you received? A Furla wallet from D.
56) Last sport you played? Oh dear, urm, does gym count?
57) Things you spend a lot of money on? Food and stationery.
58) Where do you live? West.
59) Where were you born? KK Hospital
60) Last wedding attended? Pete-pete and Liz
63) Most hated food(s)? Carl’s Jr - had a massive MSG allergic reaction after that.
64) What’s your least fav.? Least fav what?
65) Can you sing? Can carry a tune but no nightangle
66) Last person you instant messaged? Bunnie
67) Last place you went on holiday? Kuala Lumpur.
68) Favourite regular drink? Teh-O.
69) Tag 3 friends: urm, nah.
70) Current Song? Air con rumbling.

Retreat November 18, 2006

She’s at it again. The “but-everybody-else-is-better”, “you-should-have-done-this”, “why-so-and-so-does-this-and-you-can’t” mode. It is utterly draining and brings me back to the same tiring issues that have been visited time and time again ever since I started learning to use the word NO.

It’s amazing how everytime I try to make decisions by factoring her into the picture, everytime I try to open up more to her, it falls flat and she essentially tells me, “Thanks for trying but you know I can never really accept who you are and what you’re doing with your life.”

I know that if I had more backbone, more confidence and was surer of what I wanted, it wouldn’t get to me so much.

And now with the health thing, the guilt is amplified. “Don’t say anything anymore, you’re giving me a headache”/”you’re making my head spin with your excuses”/”You just do whatever you want and leave me to die.”

It’s confusing, heart-breaking, frustrating. And so I deal with it with the only way how: retract into the shell, draw that boundary line, act politically-correct and be ambiguous at all times. And all I really wished was to be more of a daughter to you.

What I noticed today November 16, 2006

• This lady’s toes starting to resemble cherry tomatoes while perched most uncomfortably on pointy, diamante-studded black heels. Where’s the sexy in it?
• Student behind me on the bus: “I thought time would pass slower once I got to university, but no, it’s just going faster.” Just you wait kiddo.
• Certain parts of town are getting, well, kinda arty and that ain’t a bad thing.
• I’m becoming one of those annoying sit at the outer edge bus seats people because the blasts of air conditioning gives me a migraine. Sorry, I’m selfish

Just something November 12, 2006

I need a song, a poem, a movie, a sentence, a phrase, anything that might be able to articulate whatever I’m feeling inside. It’s this ambivalent bad/good, restless/sedate feeling that just needs to come out.

This is almost as bad as constiptation.

Ali, Me and D November 11, 2006

Jean’s little girl was in Miss Hostess mood yesterday and brought me on an extensive tour of her room and toy collection. On top of that, she kindly bestowed two Disney stickers, as well as a portrait of D (who was in a pink stripey shirt) and I (because she just felt like making me green) with a purpley appearance from the little princess herself. Aiyoh, when Z comes, the cuteness level of that home is going to hit the roof.

Two elderly gentlemen November 9, 2006

Today, I met with two men to get some help with work research. I was initially rather afraid to meet them, because they both gave long phone lectures on how important it is for history to be truthful. During the meeting, however, they started bickering in a friendly way about what REALLY happened. It made me realise how selective memories are, and secondly, how much they just wanted people to listen to their stories. And what important, forgotten tales they are!

Sinema November 6, 2006

Sinema is a new local film website which I think is pretty neat.

My first film review for Sinema is found here.

Click click hor and support the local film industry, or at least, find out more about all its exciting developments.